As a mental health counselor, and as a partner, I know how discovering your husband or lover is a sex addict changes a woman’s life. Nothing is as it seemed: Past, present, and future are altered instantly. Everything is suspect, up for question. It is impossible to trust him and difficult to trust yourself. To make matters worse, it’s hard to find a therapist who has YOUR best interest in mind, who will treat you with the same care and respect the addict gets. Historically, the partner has been immediately labeled ‘codependent’ and treated as an adjunct to the sex addict’s recovery. She has been told to “stay for at least a year,” often to her own detriment. I strongly believe that the partner needs her own therapist, an advocate for HER, someone who puts her wellbeing first–not second to the addict or even to the marriage. There is a growing contingent of women (and men!) out there who are working to change the way partners are treated. You will find me among them. This blog is in service to that change.
This site is a sex-addict-free zone. It is intended as a safe place for partners who are women. No comments by sex addicts will be posted. I won’t waste my time or my readers’ time arguing with sex addicts. You will not find much sympathy or tolerance for them here; they get plenty of compassion from the therapeutic community that treats them.
I will refer to sex addicts as “he” or “him,” because the majority of them are male, and because this site is specifically written for women.
Know, however, that my heart goes out to all men who are the victims of sex addicts. I’m sure they are equally traumatized.
Finally, everything written on ‘Fresh Hell’ is my own own opinion. While I share the philosophy of JoAnn Russell and her Sisterhood of Support, she is not responsible for any of the views expressed here.
Before heading to the blog posts proper, please visit the Welcome page for a more expansive introduction.
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